5/2008 - Contemplation - ASW #66 - Thread #3

May 20, 2008

Contemplation by Willow

#66 of the Ascended Wisdom Matrix - Thread #3

Today I went for my morning walk. I decided to go past the apartments where I am staying and go to the Chinese Gardens and walk through to say ‘hi’ to Quan Yin.

I decided that my walk would be brisk with long strides in the open air.

My thoughts wander to deep places within my personal journey. I have been in a dilemma about the perpetual issue of personal surrender and whether I am needed here or not. Again and again, in my journey I face this question and always I surrender. No less does this inward spiral take me again and again to the place of inner unknowing, question and letting go. Today, as my work comes full circle, I ask myself, my counsel, my Divine Source, do I again take up the chalice, the bowl and refill it for again another turn? What holds me here in this human form? What are my desires and what does the future hold? How do I make a decision or do I just allow the flow of my life rest upon the breeze of good fortune and experience the grace and mercy of the Divine Source who has created me? It seems silly, these questions, because they are the same questions I asked when I was nineteen and a year ago, and yet there is something different. There is no fear of the unknown. I am void of the desperation of needing to really know nor do I have an attachment to the way it needs to be done, so I think 😬. I do have more passion for living and my hope is grounded in the starry eyes of my bliss ninny and my eternal faith of the Ground and the path that she has provided for my ancestors and the path that has lead me to this place where I now stand. Living without desire or has the face of desire changed to something that I have yet to become aware of. These are my thoughts today as I contemplate on the 66^th movement of the Ascended Wisdom Matrix.

Divine Charity embraces Human Matter through Individual Allowance in Passageways of Passion in Gratitude.

As I approached the large pond where Quan Yin pours her water, I see a mother duck with four little ducklings. She is leaving the grassy gated area and is moving toward the busy street traffic. I hurriedly ran over and around the black cast iron fence and got there just in time to shoo her back into the gardens. All the time she is speaking to me, telling me that it is not safe there in the water for her. I realize that she must get out but I am afraid for her. I tell her that she cannot take the ducklings into the four lane busy street. She says she has to.

A man, and woman and a child sit close by and are watching. I watch the mother make many attempts to lead her children out of the gardens, she sees me as a menace. I realize that she is between a rock and a hard spot. I pray to Quan Yin to help her as I do not know what to do nor how to help. The large Koi in the pond gather themselves in a very aggressive way and begin to circle her and her children. She gets out and gets back in. I realize that I must leave. Yet my own need to not feel that I have left anyone behind hinders my inner consciousness and heart. My compassion is lined with the idea that I can save someone or something, I am stricken by the realization that I need to let it go. It is out of my hands and in the hands of the Source which created, guides and watches over. I think, in my own self centeredness as a human being that, “I must do something”. I must do something because it is human beings who have created such imbalance that the natural life of a duck cannot live. I feel sad and torn and helpless.

I realize that I have no power but to pray for I am without the arms to personally hold or embrace. I think that if she crosses the street she and her babies will die. I am saddened. I ask the man what he thinks we should do, he does not know. I ask the woman what she thinks we should do, she doesn’t know. The little child is happy to sit and watch the events and the babies going in and out of the water.

It comes to me to find the gardener. I tell the man that I will be back and I go in search of the gardener. I come across the cleaning lady who does not speak English and I don’t speak Spanish. So we are unable to communicate not unlike the mother duck and I. I walk further and it crosses my mind to keep on walking, let it go, leave it alone. Why would I keep on walking I ask myself? I would walk because it is none of my business. I would walk because I have no idea how to help. There are no boxes that I can place them in. There is no place to take them. I am at a loss. In my humanness I must surrender to that which is greater than myself, always and in all ways, surrender.

I keep walking and I come upon a man who takes care of the gardens, he is working on the sprinklers above one of the buildings. I tell him of my dilemma and he walks with me to see the ducklings. We see the cleaning lady, he tells her to help. She says no, the mother duck is very aggressive with her little ones to protect them. He informs me that they were born a couple of days ago in another part of the garden, nice and secluded. And yesterday there were seven. I tell him today there are four.

I know that the mother is trying to relocate the children as they are in danger, this I knew and still had no idea how to help. We walked back to the pond and the man said, “They left, they crossed the street. The woman said the trucks stopped, all of the traffic stopped and let them pass.” I stopped in happiness and gratitude. My heart is filled today with the realization that I am not alone but al-one in my plight to help co-operation to this world.

My heart is filled again with the hope that others care and that just when I think we are too busy to notice, 4 little ducklings and a mama are valued enough to stop rush our traffic in a big city on May 20, 2008.

I realize again, that I can surrender to what thrills me and I am not abandoning anyone. I realize that I don’t know what made it all okay or if they will be okay in the future. Was it mother’s pure determination to step into her own knowing and through this knowing, the world stopped for a moment and heard her? Was it Quan Yin who gave sanctuary and guidance? Was it a 4 year old little girl who took glee in the pure magic of the moment? Was it my prayer and my need to help and my justification and my arrogance? Was it a man who just allowed for the unknowing? Was it Divine Charity in thoughtful consideration of Human Matter? Was it all of these things flowing through single thread (passageway) of thought in passionate gratitude for life? The gratitude of hope, that life will and does continue in its highest form. Today we can trust that through our own frailty, stupidity, foolishness, joy, presence, worry, and humility; we do live in a world where busy morning city traffic will stop for 4 ducklings and a mama.

Today, I bask in the Hope of Life and Living. Just for today, I remember that it’s not all about me and its not all about you, and when we stop, we realize it is all about US. Today I surrender in gratitude for the imperfection of my own Being and the perfection of Divine mercy and intervention.

On behalf of all life and living in co-operative harmony, I ask Divine Source to bless you and all that you love today. May your day be filled with a new hope. May this new hope travel with you, inspire and strengthen your outlook on life and living. May you remember that you are not alone but a part of al-one. May you remember that you can surrender and everything is okay. May you remember that we all want one thing, to express our eternal love and know that our experience is held in gratitude. May you find the heart space to follow your dream. May you know that your prayers are heard and that what you care about is important, no matter how clumsy in expression.

Blessed Be,

Willow Tequillo,

Spiritual Guide/Medicine Woman

Dear New Breed Healers,

Welcome to the magical month of May. Historically May is the month when we experience the fairy play of great mother and all of her children. It is when our focus is on our community, what is growing around us and through us. What seeds we share and how we watch the growth of those seeds. WE consider how we are attentive to the Matter that we planted as intentions in April, and how we are attentive to what is planted around us and what is coming through us.

In the month of April we planted our seeds of intention. In this magical month of May we begin to Weave the Web of our lives. We begin our weaving by making clear decisions about what we want to live in our garden of life and what we do not. We remember that in the garden if you wait too long to decide to pull out the weed, it will go to seed and the weed will take over. This month of May we tend our personal garden (our attitudes and reflections within us) and our community garden (our relationships around us). This means that we look inside and see where we are in our community.

We ask ourselves:

How is the community supporting me?
How am I supporting community?
Do I want to be here, why?
I am active in community by my physical presence in...
I share my personal walk in gratitude by...
I share something sacred and tangible about me with my community.
I have sorted out the difference between instructing others and participating as friend.

Please consider these questions for yourself this month, be clear and honest with yourselves. If there are ways in which to improve, do so without much comment to the outside. It is really important to learn to make shifts inwardly rather than voicing the "I am great because I do this."

First take 15 minutes out to contemplate and write out your personal answers to the questions below. Again write them out for yourself, remember you have a two minute time limit on the answers to all of the group.

Second rejoin as a group and allow each person to speak (read out loud to the group what you have written) without interruptions. Have a clock alarm for a two minute time limitation.

Third take notes on what others have said.

Fourth take 15 minutes out and consider - in Gratitude - one (1) answer another has given from one of the four questions. Write a single paragraph regarding what has inspired you to a deeper understanding of you and your relationship to your community.

Use the following format to help you to work out an understanding.
There is a 1 One minute limitation on the answer (your response).

Example: Thank you Joe. I appreciate your reflection on showing up. Joe, when you spoke to the question about another not showing up it struck me in my heart. I had thought that it didn't matter, I didn't matter. I thought no one really cared if I was there or not. Now I realize that I am important to you. Through this understanding I can better see how my commitment to community requires a mindful intentional place of gratitude. It also requires a heartful effort in my personal commitment to participation. Thank you.

Fifth - end the circle with a prayer of gratitude. Each person goes around the circle and says what they are grateful for.

Questions for Regional Group Discussions:

There is one thing that I would like to pull out of my attitude which drives me into the spiraled victim pit. Name it.
How does another person not showing up for common community events and assignments hinder my process?
How does my attitude support another to show up?
How can I best walk in my personal process and allow another the freedom to walk in theirs?

Please choose a facilitator for your group.
Please have a timer and use it.

For the group meeting this month do the following exercise.

Follow the rules of conversation protocol so that everyone has a chance to be heard, i.e. time limited responses without interruption.

Follow the rules of conversation protocol so that you have the opportunity to listen with full attention.

4/2008 - Notes on Ceremony (Amy John)

LSD 8/2008 - Gratitude